The Bong Geek Torture

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Recently we had a new joinee  who has been allocated the seat, an open cube which is perpendicular to my cube..

Currently there has been a lot migration of bong geeks from Kolkatta.

Which is all good. More power to the Bongs and for a change it is nice to hear a language which I love to speak and I love to be.  In all its glory of food, human discomforts and general bong advice.

So it was all nice to here a familiar tone talking familiar subjects.  But slowly it started to really get on to my nerves.

I like to think I am a ok kind of tolerant soul unless my trigger is set off right from the start. At least as I am growing in years the tolerant quota is slowly but surely increasing.

I repeat. I like to think that about myself.  It could totally be an illusion. :)

I think its been about 3 odd months or less and my level of patience is in the process of drying up.

I tried venting it out by posting in Facebook and Twitter thinking that my frustration would get over.

Phone call 1 : ( assuming he is talking to his wife)

Almost everyday as we start work.. this has got to be a trend…

hello : ki korcho. Pujo shesh. Appel ta kheye niyo. ( what are you doing ? Puja over ?? Have that apple)

This continues to when he will have lunch and when he will be back.

Phone call 2 : ( Tata Sky )

Getting all excited, his house got a tata sky, he calls his wife and tells her over the phone what to say to the Tata sky guy.

Amake khali Bangla channel lage. oke bolo this and that and this.. ( I want only Bangla channel and tell him this and that)

and the conversation goes on loudly for some time.

Phone call to his friends : This individual has got decent amount of friends who he regularly calls. Methinks that his group are all migrating from Kolkatta.

So he calls and talks to one of his friend. Telling him about himself and how he is settling down. Then he asks, where he got the job. The friend answers. And then he does not stop at that.

Accha bol to, tor salary koto. ( tell me how much salary are you getting ?? )

The friends hmms and hawwwss.. ( I am assuming)

Now our pal is not satisfied. He goes on asking about his salary.. I think he asks about 4 to 5 times.  Till he gets an answer and typically says..

Eito !! if you would have asked me before negotiating, I would have given you a higher figure. You have to bargain for it.

And on and on and on..

Recently, one of his friend is leaving his job I think… and our pal goes on and on convincing him why he should not leave and since he is married, he should think about both of them..

Blah blah blah !!!!!

Phone call on Vomit : ( yes that is there too)

One morning he picks up the phone and tells in a weak voice that he cannot go to lunch with him that day since he has vomitted some number of times. Goes on to relay when he puked.. and how many times.

And how he had some food over the weekend and it went haywire..

and thats why he says he will have to be careful

Phone call on ticket cancellation : ( this is a funny one)

Now this is what happens when we do too much of “Jugad”. Dont know the word in Bengali. This bugger calls up a friend to cancel  one of his tickets or some of his tickets via train to Kolkatta.  He sits in a no worry mode where things will be taken care of.

Then he gets a call that  the job is done and ALL the tickets have been canceled.

He is shocked and does not know what to say. Keeps soclding the fellow and immediately calls his wife to relay this new turn of events. And he keeps bemoaning this fact on and on.

Finally he decides to book plane ticket..

I could not help but giggle silently while on the other hand being frustrated at yet again having been privy to this conversation.

Phone call on his breakfast : ( “deem shidho” – boiled eggs)

One day he went on and on about his food and boiled eggs and fish and boiled eggs and fish and boiled eggs and fish

I was like hungry just listening to him talk so much and me is not very happy when hungry and there is no food.

Buhahahah !!! :) :):)

When does this bugger work ?? If he talks from morning to afternoon to evening..

So after listening to his private ins and out and his so called meanderings between friends, family and his food habits.. and his loving concern for the “aappel” that his wife has to have everyday..I talked to another Bong Manager who is a good pal as well and sits on the other side of the cube and told him to help me out.. by telling him to keep it down and to take a conference room

Seriously I really dont need to hear or form an opinion about someone’s personal life and their doings..

I am ok with bits and pieces of phone conversation which we all have during the day. It does not invade..

But to go on and on and on and on .. after a while, it takes me away from my work and the mind gets stuck into that which is no business of mine.. :)

FINALLY today !!! there is quiet and limited quiet conversation.

Thank you Bangali Babu.. !!

Appreciate it  !! I can work in peace..

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Overheard

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In the process of paying for emergency grocery in a small Mallu Shop the man behind me is speaking on the phone.. quite loudly.. its a one sided conversation but I was like :O

Man ( with an American accent)

- Yes, I am shopping.

- I had a hectic day. Too hectic.. cant think straight.

( me patiently waiting for my turn to pay for my groceries while MIL is searching for some new kinda biscuits. I know she has a weakness for different ones)

What ? oh yes, I am buying some bread and eggs and juice.

- Brown bread ?? Oh no. ..!! here you dont get brown bread.  ALL BROWN BREADS ARE COLORED BROWN.. !!!!

(me :  HUH DUH HUH, did I  hear right ??: my ears are pointed and tuned to this “interesting” conversation)

- ( man giving up the American accent and switching to Hindi)  yes didnt you know..  all brown breads are slashed with colors and then we poor folks think its brown bread and eat it..

- Juice ??? you think.. Here all juices are colored even the REAL ones which say sugar free and they all have preservatives.. NAH.. we cannot get anything pure here..

- no I tell you.. its all like this here.. its terrible.. and so I got the normal bread..

By that time I was affronted.. and felt like knocking this bugger on his head and saying that for his information, we do get good BROWN BREAD well baked and well done..

God !! he is not only a confused DESI but stupid as well.. it seems that living in Uncle Sam’s land has layered his brain with a blindfold where he sees only artificiality here in his native country and all health in other countries..

BAH !!!! of course, I did not say anything.. I was dying to… but I did not.. and I quitely smirked, paid my dues for my items and walked out with MIL..

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!

The amazing idiocy and stupidity of people who come back from stints abroad..  !!!

We are not that stupid as to not know how to make brown bread…

Either he is the dumbest character I found or I am blind… :)

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its friday.. wheeee

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Well I just felt like shouting that..

The mind per say is a funny tool.. when one least expects it, there are some ping pong which plays up BANG comes up the impulses..

So well I acted on it and I am happy.. he he.. I love listening to my impulses..

The serious part encouraged me to try Ayurveda so went and enrolled myself for a treatment..

Methinks that its always good to take care of oneself.. and since I have not tried Ayurveda.. well lets do it.. and I did it..

And now I have some weird tasting medicines to take in the morning and the doc has promised me of some deep rooted recovery.. or whatever.

Now I am not a fan of medicines specially of the Allopathy nature.. but yes.. natural remedies always is good. .

The doc was good and the treatment sounds encouraging..

It did burn a hole in the already holed pocket.. ( lets not ponder there)

But health is wealth so here I am.. the paper kind comes  and goes..

Grocery Shopping has now become complicated.

I think I have not reached that mindset where I do a detailed research on what I buy.. Nope I buy by instinct and of course the date on the packet.

Now when I go browse the rice, lentil, grains, pulses and beans, section , I am flummoxed by the local variety, the organic variety and the normal variety.. WAHHHHH !!

Now this purchase which used to take me seconds..  now takes me couple of valuable minutes.. Why why why… I am like what do I take.. organic – well that seems to be the fad.. and healthy as well and expensive.. – local – hmm could be good.. – normal – whats the diff.. I usually take that..

Now you can see me with my tiny hands on my chin… pondering upon this rack with the concentration of deliberating over a critical life and death decision..

I caught myself at it and could not help berate myself for being so fussy.. Gosh !! and POP I go and choose an organic packet of Black Channa and normal Dal and another local Dal..

Well !!! ,  me says to myself,  that should do it !! I have the best of all the three.

Result : When I come home..

  • local – is ok..
  • Normal is normal..
  • Organic is interesting – the channas look good but inside its full of insects which has eaten it hollow..

Well there goes my choices.. I will stick to the NORMAL.. for now..

I think this organic concept has not been understood well or the product was bad.. whatever.. !!! OR my vision is also going bonkers. The packet looked just fine when I picked it up..

Anyway..Now I am back to seconds.. in shopping.. :)

Medians on the road are made for a purpose..

Bikers of the generic kind.. the commuter variety and not the passionate variety… Why do you think your 100- 150 cc bike can go over a well placed median just to avoid riding normally and taking a U turn..

We are all doing that.. Heck my baby can cross the median well but we have rules and its logical why they have been put there..

But no.. we have bikers who painfully cross the medians sweating, gyrating and then BANG the bike does not start.. and I go SCREEEEEECCCHHHHH to save from plowing onto him..

It is madness and I felt like getting out of the car and giving him a punch on his face.. for giving me such a heart attack.. GRRRRRR

Next time I will blow my already loud horn and give him a piece of the heart stop that I get..

And they say that women drivers are a menace..

I think we women can teach them men something.. buhahahah !!!

So all well you have  a good weekend..

I am doing some movies, friends, dentist.. and all that blah…  he he :)

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