Doing the right thing

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We have been faced recently with lot of souls departing this earth.

And my prayers for them in their next journey..

Jagjit Singh whose soulful voice took me back into different lifetimes and beautiful scenes and emotions.

Shammi Kapoor who would light up any ambience with sheer life..

Steve Jobs was a fascinating soul who I always used to observe from afar… following him online.. but the one which most touched me was his lecture to the students in Stanford University which says a lot of where his purpose was driving him and how.. :) It is so profound that his words have been echoing in the recesses of my mind for some time.

Couple of quotes which resonates within me very strongly.

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Reminds me of The Buddha who I have grown to love and asimilate in essence… slowly.. at least attempting  to…

Death is the only permanent thing in life.. Everything else is temporary.. If you live well, you will die well…. Define your purpose and pave your path… it gives a very important push to align my priorities in order…

Sometimes, my close friends and loved ones ask me to compromise… and to do a certain thing in a certain way…

And I think to myself… if it was my last day… how would I do things… yep… that really makes me work with compassion and yeah measure on my compromise.. Compromise is not a best friend of mine… but I have a wary relationship with it.. :)

So today I have been thinking on how we keep thinking of always “trying to do the right thing”

Again one of Job’s statements come to mind… to keep things simple.. which is more difficult than anything.. then its easy..

Many a times, I face aspects at job or life which leads me to many gray areas… and it still sometimes takes me sometime to get into a natural mode of doing the right thing.. I search now how to keep it as simple as possible.. even though the mind always likes to complicates things.. :)

I still get stuck between either stimulus or response to stimulus.. and then have to step back to choose the in between path and respond from an objective self. I am trying to get that to a natural skill where I do not have to think too much.. :)

Well, sometimes, we work in automation when we have to DO THE RIGHT THING when our value systems are in sync..

When I was a kid,  doing the right thing meant I had to be within boundaries.

All rules were laid out and well as long as my conscience  was fine, I was fine breaking it and that started my belief that Breaking Rules is a way of actually testing my own boundaries of how far I could stretch the concept of doing the right thing…  It was fun when I was a teen… I could get away with it.

But as I moved on, the lines blurred between rights and wrongs.. and the one way which drew the line was intense suffering which I had to go through due to certain actions or inactions… and maybe one would call them lessons in golden platter… but life.. its so wonderful, it has a speciality in serving more lemons when you made a lemonade of it…

So “doing the right thing” for me needs lot of consistence and commitment and yeah core belief alignment

Being in an organization : is determined by if I enjoy or love what I am doing… and bring in benefits and get benefits..

Being with someone : is determined by the fact if we exchange warmth, unconditional love and just pure sharing of selves… internal and external… all without validations.. or rules.. but just being in the moment together with lot of awareness…

Friends : definitely again based on value systems definition which makes the friendships stronger

So looking back, I now find that its very easy to do the right thing if one focusses on one’s core values…

What do you stand for ? What values do your represent and cannot do without ? Its very important…

That is an important factor which makes me quietly confident in being content with what decision I make… even if its sometimes the wrong one.. or a losing one..

My losses have always given me great gains… and today I reflect upon them..

  • Willing to voluntary NOT get into medicine or engg like my many friends…. brought me to the wonderful world of IT and its possibilities, enabled me to push my limits.. 
  • Quitting a self debilitating relationship which I thought was my lifeline, made me get into a worse possible relationship which actually shaped the woman in me and today, I am in a no compromise a relationship of choice.
  • Quitting my first job because they would not pay me for the double role that I was playing.. was so painful since I had so many friends and security…  but it took me to a path of adventure of getting into a totally new technology and the world of encryption. 
  • Layoff time, I see my friends getting laid off. And the way it was done, it was very unethical… at least thats what my value system said… :) And thinking upon it, without a job in hand, I quit… as it went against me to work for an organisation who would treat their employees in such a dispassionate manner…Specially when I asked if my name was on it and they refused to tell me anything about it..  that was it… it was a very quick decision… made with some nervousness but firmness… and yes where employees were given 2 month severance pay, I had to pay to get off the job… it was tough at that point but I don’t regret it. … And Lo and Behold !! I got a wonderful job where my learning curve knew no bounds… it was an amazing phase… that too when the stakes were totally down and recession time… 

There are many more striking points …. in different aspects of my life which kept telling me that as long as I was true to my values and beliefs, I was always going to do the right thing… :)

Even if it meant that I am losing everything at that moment… LOL… but the choice has to be always be a well accepted one…. Acceptance comes when one is in sync with one’s values…

Doing the right thing… Lets DO…. rather than talk more about it.. :)  (still learning though)

 

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Fear – I walk with you

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Fear – I walk with you

I see you from afar and I am waiting in anticipation

It is playing hide and seek with me

It knows my weakness

it knows my strengths

It laughs at my strengths and slurps at my weakness and helplessless with a hunger that comes with fear.

I am tempted to feed it .. with my anger, vengenance, disappointment, hurt, anger, anger mostly…

Ah its waiting with open arms to swallow me whole.. and throw a minion of what is me.

A shaking quivering me which has no substance..

I see myself… as I could be..

I take a deep breath and I exhale out…

and I open up my arms… slowly…

I smile and I stretch… and I laugh now… silently but with amazing confidence..

I welcome the bitter bile of fear and jelly of helplessness

It rushes in … attempting to push me back

It rushes in rushes in… and I hold it just in time…

I say hello.. I see it puzzled…

I am not supposed to smile.. I am supposed to cower…

I pet it… I caress it… I hold its hand…

I say to it – Its OK.. its Alright..

It becomes small and a child… who needs my hand to guide it..

But thats a farce…

It tries to run behind me… and remains behind me,…

It runs ahead of me…

Attempting to grow bigger than me..

I dance with it and make it walk with me..

Once twice thrice… and a new path is formed…

After another round of push and pull…

I show its place.. its place is with me.. not ahead or behind me..

it paces with me… breaths with me…

It becomes my friend and walks with me..

I will teach it to appear when its needed, not when its not…

I know its importance… it has to know mine..

I show its purpose..  I accept its role in my life… But do not accept its rule.. I

It settles down… we breathe in together… we pace together…. we are one…

Fear… that is your place… be the cause of my strength not the cause of my sorrow…

 

@ Pallavi Baruah

 

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In search of passion

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Sometimes, I feel at a stage when one has to be focussed on so many things that HAS to happen in life that one forgets how to be carefree..

Sometimes, I wonder, why is it so hard to be carefree… to do the things that I love.. and run after some MUSTs…

Maybe I lack the courage, maybe I am bounded by fear of the unknown… but I know there will be a time, very soon, this will also pass..

At present I am like a river flowing laboriously with lot of debris and would so like to flow quickly lightly rapidly playing around boulders before merging to the giant sea of consciousness… :)

And this blog just pepped me up which just made me pause and reflect AGAIN what gave me blissful joy in the most mundane manner..

Mundane is what I need right now.. rather than abstract.. :)

What makes you smile?

A beautiful song, a lullaby, my birds, my Ma’s unintended jokes, a smile from someone, good food, a fond memory, memories and spontaniety..

What makes you lose time?

A good book, a song, conversation with close friends, walking down cobbled paths exploring new bits about a new place.. standing still by a beautiful lake surrounded by mountains, jewellery browsing, shopping, traveling.. the journey… listening to wisdom of the ancients,

What comes naturally to you?

Laughing, communicating, exercising influence, getting things done, being a woman, being me :)

What can’t you stop talking about?

Life, being alive, being in the moment, living in the present, beliefs, my fears and how I can overcome them.. how imperfection is the way to learn… and not wallow on it..

What are you really awesome at doing?

Anything that I love doing, the keyword here is love.. :) can be cooking, can be writing, can be communicating, can be counselling, can be managing, can be just being in the moment.

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

Write a book. Travel all over and write another book.. :) … and write more books.. :)

What would you do for free because you love it so much?

Counsel women who are yet to make it…. be a coach.. teach..

If you had 12 months to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now?

Sell all my assets, travel more, meet all my friends, spend more time with my loved ones.. and slowly give away everything till I have nothing left… but the body…

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