Reading Oprah’s take on Mantras, I was inspired to write a post of my own related to the same. Well what I understand here by “mantras”, is that it is a belief or a prayer or a thought which keeps me going in case of any event which is too overwhelming for me. The thought that grounds me and makes me move forward or lie still till the phase passes.. and I am not talking about the much talked about origin of the word here

2010 has been the most difficult year for me, making it memorable in a bittersweet kind of way and thus affirming my faith in the divine and events that have to pass through.

Obstacles : Delays, obstacles, murphy’s law, you name it and I think I have had a large share of it all last year.. and what kept me going ??

My mantra : Its a phase, it will pass.. Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing.. Remove your association from the obstacle and solutions are easy to focus on..

Loss : Dealing with loss is overwhelming… It bangs you in your face, and after a few numb moments.. as it sinks in, it feels as if there is a big hole.. somewhere..and there is no space to breathe.. it started with mom, friends, things I took for granted.. but yet there it was, I had to be a gracious loser..

My mantra : This is part of your bag that you carry, Accept it and make peace with it. Its alright, its alright to break down, everything will be pieced together slowly… and letting go is part of creating something new.. what you never had cannot be lost… the illusion is in the having.. What I only have is my soul and my inner self.. rest is all part of the world where there is a gain and a loss, a start and an end.. rejoice in the infinity that is my soul… through which I can connect to all that is important to me and keep it with me.. (and I am still working with it )

Intolerance : Watching people earn money the underhanded way back home and coming and preaching about how I needed to run my life…as I grieved,  while I sat and was forced to listen to them .. and also listened when these very people…pretended to care when they really did not and pretended to stand by… when all they wanted was to have a good time with food.. while I watched on.. sorely tempted to judge.. .yet…

My mantra : These souls belong somewhere in my family tree and what they do is their choice and how they behave is their choice… they will never understand why I do or act a certain way that I do.. and to them I could be equally alien…( That brought a smile inside me.. ) So listen and know that they are also part of the superconsciousness that I come from.. so chill.. Stop Judging.. !! Be  detached!! This is supposed to be social networking, the old way, and that is how they comfort each other..

Hatred : Well cannot tell myself, how interested I am when I come across hatred towards me. Its the easiest emotion to read.

Mantra : Your greatest teacher to tolerance and detachment.. And I keep telling myself.. you cannot please all.. I can only be compassionate ( which is tough mind you) and just move on to more useful activities to reduce the temptation to reciprocate.. and also accept that I must have had some reason to bring forth this feeling.. that means, I still have to work on myself… it tells me that I have so much more to do..

Restlessness : When I knew that no matter what I did, I could not see myself in the old job, it started with restlessness and no matter what I did, there was this inexpressible urge to move on.. and that I had done what I had to do with one of my best jobs..I had everything I wanted.. well almost but all best things also come to an end.. the letting go bit was painful and slow.. and though I knew it was time, I had to wait for the right time and opportunity and the waiting was biting..

My mantra : I will go where I am needed the most and I will get just the right opportunity and I was very grateful for my old job sustaining me and taking me to where I stood today.. Each day I show my gratefulness to the place where I was and I pray to take me to where I need to be.. where I will be most useful..

Lies : I think last year, I was confronted with so many lies that I was loath to hold on to the belief that there are honest and ethical souls in this word… Some soul actually lied about his grandmother dying to get what he wanted. So many souls lied to get what they wanted, I was quite confounded.. and again, I was tempted to judge…

Mantra : Here NLP helped me a lot. I remembered and held on to that thought that souls lied because they had a good reason to and my being there would not make a difference.. the root was what mattered.. so it was easy to actually not to hold it against them. As long at it did not affect me, it was fine.. I guess..

Joy : Unexpected occasions of joyful moments.. here and there.. just went to show that with tough also came good.. and vice versa.

Mantra : Do not get too attached to it.. enjoy it for a second and let it go…. with gratefulness… extreme gratefulness and with humble acceptance of blessings.. which manifested in joy… the cup always runneth with joy as well as sorrow…never with only one.. two sides of the coin..

I reflect back and I see that this year though tough has been one of my most formative years as well.. Being in the moment taught me to focus on whats right and fair not only for me but for other parties as well,  and at the same time, not overreact to things which really tempt me to.. its an impulse.. instead work one second at a time.. patience and faith pays.. and mantras or your beliefs as a result of your faith, ground you… and lets you be the one that you are meant to be rather that what you react to be.. .:)  Its been an enriching time.. and I am still learning… Its not perfect yet.. impulses flow, reactions enact, yet… I go back to what I believe..

I cannot forget to dedicate all that I have learnt to all the souls who was responsible in their own way to shape my thoughts.. the good as well as the tough.. I am grateful for that as well.. Could not have done this alone.. it was meant to be just the way it was.. no regrets…

Mantra : Be thankful, you have lived through this and can hold a smile without trembling.. be grateful that you can sleep peacefully… Be joyous that you lived to see the beautiful winter and all that goes with it…. : There is so much more, you have to learn.. its just another layer uncovered of the so many thousands of layers of being that I have.. This is nothing..

My many imperfections will definitely bring in more and more opportunity to test me to get the much required karma coins that I have to earn… and with that mantra, I welcome 2011.. !!! I have a long way to go… and this is just the start… there is a whole incline ahead…

And with that motivation I start my new year… hoping that whatever it brings forth, I am steady and grounded.. and grateful for being able to wake up to each new day… and holding to that thought that my hope , my faith, my beliefs carry me through the next decade… and make me what I am here in this lifetime to be…

Wishing all my readers a very Happy New Year !! May it bring you closer to your dreams and bring you peace and prosperity.. A thousand times over..

Well, this was one of those days where I had some free time and as usual, I planned on going to the library to return my load of books and get another load.

Parking was available somewhat far away next to one of the famous landmarks in Blore: Safina Plaza. Now lot of new things have been happening around the area such as sprouting of new buildings, one ways and change in parking arrangement.

Just like any other citizen, I usually take all this in stride, wonder for a few minutes and go back to my daily life or the usual routine. Maybe browse around the Plaza for something good and of course make it to the library.

I had to cross the road for the usual reasons.  YES to get to the other side.. hahaha !! so that I could walk to the library.

I saw a traffic policeman lazily watching me park and get out of my car. He kept watching people beyond me.. but I was hoping that I had everything right, papers, parking and all that blah.

Since I read somewhere that there was to be NO JAYWALKING I meekly went to the zebra crossing. The moment I stepped into that area, there was the LOUD .. BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP.. BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..

MY heart just stopped and the first thing that came to my mind was GOOD LORD.. did I step into some DO NOT STEP zone.. Nowadays you dont know what rules apply where and when.. with the elections just out, you would be liable to see new stuff happening for which there would be no reason at all..

OK so then and there I knew how it was like to be a deer frozen by headlights.

I frantically looked around to the policeman imagining him to come at me with a “GOTCHA” look .But he was standing there as usual.. So No I have not violated any rule.. Was there a camera and automatic receipt coming out of somewhere… since he was so cool.. :O

I was remembering the meaning of JAYWALK. My mind was a BLANK. What was the meaning of JAYWALK.. SHIT.. Where do I go now..

And the siren went on and on BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..

AAAAAA…. somebody stop it……

Then suddenly, I saw all the cars stand still and seeming to wait for me. And just as luck would have it, I was the only one there…

EUREKA….. !!!!!!!

I got it… I HAD TO CROSS THE bludy ROAD.

I went red as beetroot and walked quickly across feeling like a fool..

As soon as I crossed the road some more people stopped at the same place and off it went again..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP..

To the startled surprise of the public.. hahahahah a:)

I was chuckling to myself.. ..as I went ahead with my errand..

PHEW… Why cant they put some button for us to press before we cross the road like they have in the US. Is the sound necessary.

And to beat that, once the cars got over their surprise as well, they did not bother to stop for the pedestrians… Well no surprise there…

So much for technology and common sense or lack of it… GAHHHH !!!

Eye for an eye

Originally uploaded by Pallavi Barua.

Well.. after a relaxing and beautiful holiday, am back with loads of memories again.

This time around.. it was difficult arranging the holiday the way we usually do. Murphy decided to visit us just at the time when we were on the brink of having it just right.

Well after a heavy bout of running around, we did manage to have a part of our holidays in place.

And it made the vacation all the more sweeter.

Having friends come over from far is a pleasure and its nice to just be yourself with friends.

So here I am right now, listening to country music, having pizza and wine with very good company around.. all in all an almost perfect holiday..

• Here you go with my travel log on Alluring Allepey.
• Pics are here.

As I open the door, the good Doc pipes up : Madam, you have to talk to this director about Apoorva Diagnostics and your experience.

Me: Huh !! Why would I need to talk to the Director ?

Doc : No you just have to since he has to know. I had told him that I would ask you to talk to him.

With trembling fingers, he dials the number and makes me talk to the Director who patiently hears what to say and then says

God is looking down. You know.. people will get what they deserve.

Me : If God was looking down, why bother with me ?? I am a drop of a drop in the scheme of things.

Oh and by the way, I am talking about Dr Praveen and I am also told about “Dr Cage” who are notorious for diagnosing wrongly. Beware !!!

Now, on to my mom’s check up. My mom patiently waits for her doc to clean her ear.

Doc ( with trembling fingers) : Sister, ” bisi neer kuri..” (which means get me some hot water)

Time passes while the doctor small talks with me.

Me : Being polite. How is your daughter. I had seen the girl at your house the other day. She has grown so lovely.

Doc : Aghast !! That’s not my daughter. That’s my watchman’s daughter.

Me : (confused) But I definitely remember your daughter the last time I had come with my husband for checkup.

Doc : Oh that one.. !! That one is in UK. That is from the first one. I have a 43 days old baby from my other one.

Me : (slightly taken aback with the terminology but not surprised) Oh !! I say.

Pause …. ( I am wondering what next)

Doc : ( getting impatient and dialing for the sister ) Where is the “bisi neer” Sister ? I did not ask hot water to take bath. I need it for my patient.

The hot water in a bowl immediately is served by a nurse.

Doc : Well don’t you have sense to send me lukewarm water. The water is too hot for me to take bath even..

Me : (Now I am suspecting that something is off here. He had asked for hot water not lukewarm water. He usually does not talk that much. )

Mum: Oblivious to what is being conversed, looks askance at me with signals with her eyes as to what next. I reassure her to sit tight and explain that he will wash her ears.

Doc : (while he is washing) You know the first one divorced me and I married another one from NE.

Me : (politely) Uh huh !!! (all the while thinking this is overload of information which I don’t need)

Doc : ( elaborately going on to explain the faults of the first one while I “uh huh”…. My second wife’s place.. all the men just know how to dope and drink.. nothing else is important.

Me: ( getting a little defensive about NE) well not all of them while he insists its so. I leave it at that.

Doc : ( as if waking from a doze) how old are you ?

Me : N yrs

Doc : What you are “N” yrs old and you don’t have a baby. Why why why ? You know how dangerous it is to wait… and ALL THAT BLAH. (for 3 minutes till I am ready to whack him)

Me : (Squirming and totally embarrassed having a stranger going on like that) yeah ummm… well you know how it is..

Doc : No no … I will personally lock you and your husband in a resort.. no no in a houseboat in Kerala… and the next time you visit me you have to give me good news..

Me : ( GAWK) ARRGHHHHHHH !!! SAVE ME… ( I was like WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM !!! )

And if that was not bad.. he suddenly turns to my mum and tells her how she should force me to do something about it. And blah blah blah..

Thank God for her blissful senility, my mum serenely smiles it off.. saying… yes yes sure sure ( later on asking me what that was all about )

Me : Please doc, let this go. I am sure I will do everything that you have said under advisement and will get back to you. Thanks so much…

And I rush out….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…..

Why is it that my status brings out the sirens in stranger’s eyes.. ? I am happy being what I am .. let me be.. When I ask for advice tell me… GRRR
Now, I really felt bad about referring to the wife in numbers.. Sigh.

Either the doc was doped or he was going crazy … I don’t know. I just hope he does not get on my case..

Next time, will send Rocks.. let them discuss some manly silly things..

Yeah Mercury is retrograde… so all communication will go haywire.. and there I have it.. So on to another day..