Today’s thought :

Friendship is not about how much we care when we are together, its about how much we care when we are apart

I have to say goodbye to one of my closest friend. And though at the very outset, I feel so happy she is migrating for something good… which I always thought she could realize, it still is tearing me apart from inside to feel the physical loss of someone with whom I connected so fast and had so many life experiences together..

Right from the day, she joined work as an intern, we had lots of laughs and from coffee pals, we became connected at some level.. a comfort zone was established..

I used to take some time to make close friends. In nature we are opposites but S and I would have tons to talk about and well, the bond grew.

I remember S not wanting to work at all and had this habit of coming in late.. no matter what, her timing was very leisurely and till date, if she gives me a time, I always add half an hour to it and we always have a laugh about it, me devlishly and she sheepishly.

I remember us brainstorming together on what career she should take up. And after some ideas, we found that she liked to bake the most.. And yeah she used to bake some heavenly chocolate cake.  And slowly but surely, she trained in baking and built a business on her own, a very flourishing one I would say… she never lets me forget the fact that I finished her whole cake along with another friend.. which she had got for the whole office.. what can I say ? it was plain chocolate cake but it was heaven.. . I am the biggest fan of her bakes..

We did not meet everyday but once or twice a month sometimes more infrequently.. sometimes, we would ping each other at the same time.. and the bond was stronger than ever..

I changed jobs, she grew her business, and in that path, I also introduced her to the spiritual path that I walk.. and she also found her path.. and we walked… we walked… we shared.. and scaled challenging heights in our personal fronts always leaning towards each other.. at crucial points..encouraging each other.. to buckle up.. and no matter what, we always had and still have inexplicable faith in our Buddha nature.. I would say, it transcends our bodies and connects to lives we have led and the understanding that we have established over eons..

The best is that we could be our worst and darkest with each other… still giving each other the push that its ok to be dark,but its important to come out of it with lot of strength and determination not forgetting what we believed about our very reason for existence.No judgements there..

We had a ritual… that every birthday we will meet each other no matter what.., shower each other with silly gifts and have some us time… no matter what.. and make each other feel special.. I will always remember her going to pains to choose a card and then writing lots of thoughts on it.. I treasure each thought that was sent to me.. every year..  and I did the same since we both knew what it meant to personalise the card with one’s thoughts.. and well wishes..Oh how I will miss that.. !! and yes I would always get a cake customized to my wishes.. and since I loved blueberry cheese cake, she would indulge me with that as well every now and then…

I saw her going from a non vegeterian to vegeterian.. and I kept ranting and tempting her with non veg delicacies and out of love she would give in and very soon, I would turn vegeterian when I was with her..

Her marriage came and went and she crossed over from being this free and fancy girl into a beautiful woman and throughout it all, she maintained the quality time with me..

Now the relationship matured.. and it has been beautiful seeing her grow her wings.. and though she does not want to admit it, I see her flying so high..

I will miss the impromtu calls which would lead to endless coffee sessions… and loads of soul searching and finding answers… and balance.. be it bitchiness, be it serious mistakes, tragedy, comedy, broken relationships, marital dramas, hubby understanding, and all that we call life..

I will treasure the fact that whenever I would feel low, she was always there to pick me up, unconditionally and I tried the same with her..

At a humorous note, I sometimes have the urge to see movies, which have no brains.. and she would loyally tag with me to those movies… she would curse me but she would come along.. Muaahhh I loved her for that..

And the most beautiful part of her is her generosity and her art of giving.. which keeps humbling me.. and also taught me the art of receiving… she keeps telling me.. that I know how to give and I know not how to receive.. and yeah I am learning..

She is someone who has also kept me honest.. to myself and to us.. when the ego wanted to blame, she showed that to me… and I always looked forward to interact with her have my ego destroyed lovingly..

So many good memories.. so many layers .. of what we can easily label as the inevitable human condition and yet this is what we need at some level or other to be ourselves.. to be connected.. to some soul mate.. who brings balance into our lives .. and yes soul mates need not be just spouses… I see a soul mate in my friend..

And I will so miss her presence..I think I could just skim the surface of my emotions in the attempt of writing this.. I have not done justice to it..

I feel incredibly blessed that I have known her and I do hope to keep this stream till my last breath.. the world has become very small..

I have immense happiness and immense sadness at the same time, and I am ok with it.. and yes emotions have been running like waves.. inside me… always does when I have to uproot rooted connections.. and let it out of my space of existence..

Yet another example of impermanence.. and life moves on..with purpose… and hope that this also sits well with me..