I am not a morning person

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Directors Residence IIM S
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So there was a time when I woke in the morning to the sweet nature calls and went to sleep with blissful darkness without any murmur of anything around us except the silent breeze which would blow through the doors and windows.

Well, now with the advent of civilization, the area which was green and lush is covered with fast growing buildings and people. My god I see people everywhere. Its ok, since I am a part of the mango people too. But sometimes, it just makes me wish for my room back in Shillong where nightfall meant silence.

Now I wake up with pressure cooker whistles. As one of my friend tells me that with the onset of kids, the pressure cooker has an inevitable role in their growing up. Till I get there, I will be kept awake by it, I guess.  So well Pressure cooker whistles, someone chanting some mantras after showering early and chanting it loud, the incessant barking of dogs which some of my neighbors have left behind in the care of another neighbor. There is this dog of the Pomeranian breed who has this tendency to keep barking forever and ever till even a dog lover like me really feels like running away.

Then there is this the dog Ramu who jumps over our wall and has a nightly agenda of looking through the garbage bin. As if its not enough, he actually visits all the floors to check if there is garbage kept outside the door, in which case, he gladly rips the packet apart and rummages through it leaving behind a smelly mess. GAH.

Then as I am still wonked out trying to open my eyes, there is this irritating beep of some car as it reverses and that sets off the cacophony of my birds loudly responding to that beep EVERYDAY at the SAME TIME… jarring me awake..even if I want to burrow my head down some soundproof rabbit hole.

And then comes one of the Bong neighbor, who has his parents at home. The mother is one of the loudest I have heard. She starts by scolding her son, then argues with her husband ( a silent one) on how to close and open windows and why they should be closed, etc and then keeps scolding the maid.. As if thats not enough, she goes on and on over the phone so loudly that I think all the neighbors can hear. This drowns out the kids noises, the car noises, etc..

So well, I am loath to add but I play the music on loud for sometime,  to silence her chatter and then it gives me some peace.. Ok I am adding to the noise pollution.. but it is eating me out.. and this happens almost every morning..

I am meditating.. and there is this incessant chatter and whining and scolding.. and it gets to me…. till I realise that this is an excellent opportunity to practice Dharma, developing tolerance and still accessing your stillness and yes being oblivious to it all.. it works while I meditate but then again when I am doing my chores, it keeps echoing and she can go on and on and on till I decide that I need to do something.

Seriously, I have found that noise is noise and can be canceled if I do not understand it but if I understand that noise, it adds to the disturbance outside which is reaching inside, or lets say, I am allowing it to reach inside and watching me getting irritated to such an extent that I want to stuff her mouth with cotton.. LOL :)

So I need to translate the noise to a garble of unintelligible mumbles till it fades out..

BREATHE ……………..

Ok I am not a morning person…

I need to develop more tolerance and patience

I need to wake up early and be a morning person

I need to find more ways of switching off other than loud music.. :)

I need to get out of this rant.. ( I am hoping by writing it, I will be out of it)

And thus I see myself settling down into a much more comfortable self..  LOL..

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Dreaming…

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Well last week it was a ditzy. Hope reigned supreme for something which was totally not for me.. yet sometimes, the mind does not see any reason. The mind just looks for something that seems good but well in effect it really does not make sense.. Such is the mind.. and sometimes this body also goes along with it..

And thats how we have experience.. :)

The mind has settled down again with a deeper resolve to find that elusive sense of attaining something which keeps changing as the sun comes up and goes down.

But the mind does not relate to an empty space for a goal. Why is it always that the mind keeps reaching out for something tangible for us to live for ?

Isnt it enough that we have today and we have enough for today.

Well practically speaking, it would be silly not to plan.

But planning brings forth aspiring, aspiring leads to cherishing which leads to the build up of ego which makes sure we are always on the run.

Socially, we have to be on the mode of addition, friends, marriage, family, and all that goes with being in a society.

Professionally, its all about the elusive and often jumping the all golden ladder of reach.. which keeps us on our toes, in turn making us forget what we have today.. is actually enough..

Then if we stand still – amidst the whole ongoing of social activity chaos around us…and reach for silence, emptiness and nothingness, we find that inner peace.. but can we stay there…

It seems impossible with the buzz of the chaotic activity around one and then there is the noise of climbing ladders…

A little green patch with a tiny house with a nice garden and some animals is the dream whereas… here one is.. grappling with the reality of being still which is at the risk of being shoved as the tornado of humanity forces one to get back to the eye of that storm where all the high is… for a shirt second but yet its so thrilling… so tempting and so beckoning..

I remember when I came to the big city someone whom I respect a lot told me that I had to be aware of riding the tiger.. if you fall, you will be eaten if you dont, the stress of riding it will kill you.. its unstoppable..

Well I refused to ride the tiger.. but searching for a ride that is sedate yet and has a good view.. and can carry me well to my grave… with a smile in my face….

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LOL and some zen

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From Midday cartoon section

Who is the next to get footage… ?? :)

On a different note :

Like this site : http://www.hulu.com/ Its competing with YouTube for full movies and TV.

I liked reading this from Zen Habits. Was thinking of a similar post but if someone already said it well, why not just share it. Click on the image to read the post..


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