Birthday Moments

Filed in Baruah Chronicles | Blog | Humor 2 Comments

Well, I could not come up with a better name than that.
Birthdays, a time which I consider a very private and special moment meant to share with Special people and I am glad that group is getting larger slowly. It means that I have learnt to receive many blessings of moments from others.

I missed S who has migrated to the US. We had formed a tiny ritual of always meeting on our bdays and showering each other with not one but many silly gifts. Its not about the gifts but the love with which both of us took the pain to get for each other and both of us would find something special which we always wanted.. I have not found that in any other friend but then we are kindred spirits … yes we are… so well, she not to be outdone by distance like me, made it a point to make her presence known via online gifting service, who called me several times….

From the signal opposite my workplace, 3 times,asking me to come and collect the gift, leading me to a wrong place to collect it and then finally having me give up and asking him to come over to the 5th floor at work.. GAH..

When I saw what he got, I immediately knew it was none other than S.

Well, bless you !! I never missed you more… but I could feel your love all the way from Dulles. :)

Yeah the card with lot of writing is pending.. She always makes it a point to give me a card writing out her thoughts which I have kept across the years… And yeah I do the same, even when I am lazy, she makes sure I do the same… since I also like it that way.. :)

So S, I really was warmed by your touching me from so far across.. with cakes,flowers, gifts, teddy bear. :)

A and family, I thank you for your cakes and flowers as well… Love to the little one.. I remember you doing your bit to cheer me up last time in Old Magazine House as well.. appreciated that.

So as I am driving from one office to another, bliss in my mind, generally happy, I take a uturn and there is this young somewhat goodlookin cop who stops me and shows me the No Uturn board.  Sigh.. ‘

I had an empty wallet and when he asked me to pay up, I said I did not have money. He did not believe me and out came the Inspector from a funny hiding place between two posts. I waited. This was a typical fight or flight situation. I decided I will do neither and settled in for inquisition and negotiation.

Deep breath In : Deep Breath Out and with the best helpless yet positive and honest smile that I could manage, I greeted the Inspector.

Inspector (mumbling) : So Madam !! you see you have to pay 100/-

Me (showing him an empty wallet) : Look Sir, no money. Do you have a swiping machine via which I could pay ?

Inspector (looks at me weirdly) : No machine but you have to pay 100/-

Me (again showing him an empty wallet) : its the end of the month and I really have not gone to the ATM to get cash. Look sir, I am  not lying. ( all the time smiling sheepishly)

Inspector (scratches his head): He peers into my car and sees that my car does not have any elements he can flick. ( I keep my car pretty functional without any knick knacks. ) He peers out and peers in again.

Madam : Give me your license. !

Me : I give him my license. Sir, today is my birthday and I am on my way to the office. You see roses and sweets..

Inspector : Smiles . OK OK…. So Madam, where are you from. Pallavi Bhaskara. (Ok I have been called Bwawa, Baruca, Brawa, but well, yet another version of my title Bhaskara for Baruah : And my ID is bold and big for them to read)

Me : I am from here. ( it was on the tip of my tongue to correct him but what the heck !! I played along)

Inspector : Where is Bhaskara working ?

Me : Bhaskara is working here.

Inspector : (Pause) So…… you a Mallu.( my Mallu friends were teasing me that maybe Mallus are damn care drivers, so the assumption)

Me (without blinking my eye) : No I am a Kannadiga and Bhaskara is also a Kannadiga.

Inspector : Good good. Ok Madam you have to give 100/-

Me (tapping inside my brain for patience) : Sir, I have flowers , please take them. I dont have money right now. ( I give him the flowers)

Inspector (jumping back) : No No !! ( well it was just flowers.. !! :O ) then another Pause… peers again inside the car. Ok Madam !! give me your phone number .

Me ( hesitant and tempted to give a wrong number but does not) : I give him my phone number. He immediately calls up and my phone rings. He looks to verify.  That saves me. If I had given the wrong number, it would have worsened my case. :(

Inspector Ok Madam, I will call you.

Me What is your name Sir ? 909283283 is your number ?

Inspector Wait Madam, you are too fast. Yes thats my number and my name is Manjunatha.

Me Ok Manjunath, please call me and come by and pick up your 100/-

Inspector yes madam, I will call you..

Me : I start my car and they suddenly become very enthusiastic and wish me loudly

HAPPY NEW YEAR HAPPY NEW YEAR …HAPPY BIRTHDAY !! ( Happy new Year ???? )

I drive off with a smile interested to see what will happen next…..

2 days Later : I get a call from this cop. Madam, I want to meet you ( I was like : Well thats a good start) I ask him if he wants the money. He says yes. I tell him that my Husband and my father were waiting to give him the money and call him to a particular landmark. He reaches the Landmark and does not come further. I tell him to come by so many times, but he wants me to meet him. In that pull and push conversation, I tell him to come to my office the next day.

I think he got scared when he heard my husband and father were waiting for him. Funny how some lines can mean a threat even without meaning to.

Well, I am still waiting with 100/- and waiting for him to call.

If he is smart, he will realise that to get that 100/- he is having to spend more than that.. LOLOL.. :) Poor guy..

Depends, how much 100/- means to him..

Moral of the Story : Honesty and flowers helped me get away without any guilt. So it pays.. :)

, , ,

Of Wrong Numbers that do not think they are Wrong..

Filed in Baruah Chronicles | Humor 3 Comments

I think we all have a visit from wrong numbers. Typically, when I say, Wrong number or in the local accent : Wrang Numberu !! It stops..

But well this started with my husband receiving calls from somewhere around North Karnataka. Now don’t ask me what kind of cosmic connection Rocky has with North Karnataka, but there you go. All the numbers who misdial are from that side.. having similar denominations.

Typically, Rocky being used to many wrong number calls, he starts off responding to Kannada Dialect with his Assamese dialect and typically, the person on the other line disconnects coming to the conclusion that it is not his number.

What is more interesting that we have had our numbers from past 10 years and have not changed it and well the spate of wrong calls have been increasing for the past year.

Case X :

This caller turned out to be more painful than the others…

Day 1 : Caller ( an old lady voice )  calls and Rocky responds in his Assamese dialect. Caller drops the phone.

Caller calls again …. and again…. and again… after a spate of about 15 minutes.

The “you speak your lingo and I speak mine” obviously did not work.

Rocky puts this number in his address book addressed as “@(&#^ moron” and we forget about it after having a short laugh.

Day 2 : Caller ( the same old lady voice) calls again and says .. Hella!!Hella !! Helaaaa !!! ???? Yaru ( In Kannada : who is this) !!!!!

Rocky keeps talking nonsense in his lingo and well she puts down the phone.

Day 3 : Day 4 : Day 5 : This keeps on repeating.

And to add to it, the first call would  be this old lady and after that she would call her husband or son to make the call again.. maybe thinking that a male voice would scare Rocks.

But Rocky  being Rocky undettered , sometimes puts hard rock or the radio near the phone sometimes generally talks whatever he feels like. I can see Rocks getting pissed with the Hellaaaa !! bit..

I am meanwhile watching this without much reaction.. to see who will give up first..

But Rocky keeps trying to invent creative ways to make them drop the phone.

Day 6 : while we were having tea, in the morning, suddenly this number calls again… Fed up of this, I pick up the phone and tell them in Kannada that its the wrong number and why dont they stop calling ??

Caller sheepishly apologizes and drops the call.

Every other day, the caller keeps calling and sometimes, Rocky just keeps it on silent but then otherwise, he ignores it.. sometimes, he really gets irritated…

One day, I see Rocky searching You Tube for some Kannada Dialouges.. funny dialouges to spout when the caller calls..

I still very much ignore his efforts.. To me, I know till Rocky does something crazy to have his anger satisfied, he will not stop.. and its fun actually watching him come up with newer methods..

Day N : Caller again calls Hellaaaa !!! ???? !!

At this time, I think I was working with some music.. it was evening time… and while I was key banging in rhythm with the music, the living room had its light dimmed…

Suddenly, I hear Rocky skipping on alternate legs, dancing and singing.,…. loudly to the phone….. Helllaaa ??? Hellaaa !!HELLA !! LIGHT FORCE !! K&N …Helllaaa ??? Hellaaa !!HELLA !! LIGHTFORCE !! K&N …Helllaaa ??? Hellaaa !!HELLA !! LIGHTFORCE !! K&N …Helllaaa ??? Hellaaa !!HELA !! LIGHTFORCE !! K&N … ( by the way, if you are wondering what Rocky was shouting, he was randomly shouting the names of some car accessories brands.. )

with the now not so soothing music.. .. .

I was like :O :O :O …

Rocky does not sing… so seeing him jumping around and singing to the phone was a sight to see…

I was rolling with laughter… till tears came out of my eyes..

Suffice it to say, the calls stopped for a while…

But I have to update saying that after that while, the calls still continue… now, we just keep it on silent, praying that it goes off..

Caller refuses to believe that our number is the wrong number..

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!

Rambling vistas… and lolling times

Filed in Baruah Chronicles | Blog | Humor | personal | Rant 6 Comments

Well, this post is of course about the weekend trip.. But not a travelog… but the journey in itself..

I was going to spend time with a soul friend…

Everything was ready, my backpack was ready, my book and music added, my checklist ticked, alarm set and ticket “assumed”.

Typically before any journey, I have this muted excitement which sends thrills of anticipation of discovering new bits and pieces or revisiting old bits and pieces when one travels.. :)

Being up early in the morning, I was ready an hour early. My train to Coimbatore was at 8:00 AM. With lot of love and kindness, my mother-in-law and Rocks decided to drop me off.

We reached the railway station and I was in the frame of mind to hop on and get into my drifting space of travelopia.

I took out the ticket to check the train number and GUESS WHAT !! my train had already left for Coimbatore at 6:15. All the while I was referring to the return ticket.. GAH !! I was ashamed when the enquiry guy looked at me as if I was stupid to enquire about a train which already left..

For the first time in my life I MISSED MY TRAIN. Rocks was boiling and slowly fuming.. I did not know what to say… Well what do you say ?

Its no use bemoaning the fact that you have missed the train. I just smiled and laughed it away. When I called my friend, she also laughed out loud.. and well I was happier to hear her laugh and my world was better again..

By now Rocky also swallowed his ire and patiently started driving back murmuring under his breath that I could cancel my ticket..

I was keeping my pleasant attitude about this and did not point out until later that one cannot cancel the ticket once the train has left. Ha ha !! But he was only trying to be a man and help me out so I smiled again.

Its no use cursing yourself.. well then I thought to myself… I think I will end up chilling at home which was also fine.

Then suddenly I thought of trying the bus and fortunately, there was only one counter open and Rocks patiently waited till I found one lone old man chewing on tobacco half asleep.. blearily asking me where I wanted to go..

I said Coimbatore and he did say that there was a bus at 12:30 PM. I was thrilled. He suddenly woke up and skipped and crossed the road. I skipped behind him to go to another counter which was also the only one open and got myself a ticket to Coimbatore.

Rocky drove us back home and on the way back we had some freshly made dosas under a huge tree.. and generally enjoyed ourselves… mother in law was very encouraging about the situation and though I was embarrassed… I was feeling better that I would be going on that trip anyway.. and it was about a few hours late.. well all was well.

Rocky kindly dropped me and saw me off from the bus station at 1:00 PM, this time making sure that I left with the bus and not without. Typically IST wise, the said time and the actual time differed. No surprise there..

The bus was comfortable and since I had Seat no 1, I was pretty glad that I could have a wide view of the drive and what was in front of me..

Well the bus started with some nice Tamizh songs. Which was fine. They are pretty cool with fancy DVD with some MP3 CDs ready to be played for the traveler’s hearing pleasure.

Suddenly I was jerked by a song which sound like TITANIC many a times in the lyrics.. It was funny to say the least but I was bright and happy.. so it did not matter.

We stopped at the Bharat Petroleum Eating joint after Krishnagiri. And it was late afternoon. After a quick bite and an empty bladder, the bus started onwards. The handyman very enthusiastically, took out a 5 in 1 DVD and switched on the DVD.

And on came RAJANIKANT with his different expressions and that sultry look of his chewing on his trademark ciggie.

There were some mythological characters, Rajani in modern clothes and role and Rajani in a villager role. As the movie unfolded, I was zapped, sitting in silence, trying to focus on the nature passing by but forced to watch the movie and got caught up in the story which was totally ludicrous to say the least but totally entertaining..

I watched disbelievingly at Rajani making an entrance on a motorcycle with smoke billowing behind him chewing on his ciggie trying to block a truck on the highway at night.

Then he starts beating up people right and left and the fight scenes goes on and on.. Rajani with his white shirt and pant and him beating up some 10 -20 people without his white shirt getting dirty. WoW !!

Then while Rajani is fighting for his life.. in the fight scenes, we have Sheeba ( the somewhat known and forgotten Bollywood heroine) shouting.. “ippdi” !!! ” Sooper ” Soober man” And mimicking her arms boxing the air.. “adi adi ” “Sooper.. ” Then she throws him a flying kiss and Rajni in the middle of the fight, has the time to look sexily at her and take out his distinctively pink tongue and looking at the camera and lapping the flying kiss up like a puppy.. and then goes back to beating up the goons… I was like GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH and that was supposed to be a hot moment…. GROSSSS !!!! I was having a quiet stomach ache laughing my head off. Oh and lets not forget some 2-3 song and dance routine with him in his white dress and shoes and lots of extras jiggling around with Sheeba and then some more fight scenes.. which made no sense…

To continue and make this short, Rajani gets killed and he floats around in heaven with three guys, one of whom is Chitragupt the divine bookkeeper of karmic accounts or whatever.

Cut to Rajani doing his role as a village bumpkin and prancing around with a village belle. They sing and dance and Rajani gets beaten up by his uncle by a whip and gets poisoned for his property. Then we see the floating Rajani with his heavenly companions waiting for the village bumpkin counterpart to die. Once he dies, this modern Rajani gets transferred to the village bumkin’s body and then he proceeds to do some impossible things like beating up his uncle and aunty with whips, wearing modern dresses and still romancing the village belle. Then he comes to town and somehow gets found by Sheeba and he romances her too.. at the same time.. with the village belle.

And I am not saying anything about the 10 odd songs in the movies which sometimes is close to pornography by their very movements.. and no I am not shocked.. just an observation. At one time, I noticed Rajani just stiffly moving his body while the females falling and touching him all over… to make a dance… GAH !!!

I was also somewhat disturbed by the scene where Rajani does not only beat up his evil uncle with a whip but also his aunt. So well as per the movies, its ok to beat up a woman with a whip and so what.. if she was evil.. That is good punishment.. :(

Well anyway, I will not be surprised if the public ( the mango people) believe this to be true and had a justification in beating the women up in the household..

My head was not making sense at all.. yet I was forced to watch it.. I tried and close my eyes but it did no good.. The driver had pulled a screen down half of the front window so that the passengers do not have a view of the outside and can ONLY watch the movie and clap their hands when Rajani does the beating up or cheer when something happens.. which makes them happy.

Anyway, the movie goes on and on… and many impossible feats later which defy science and gravity, he is left with the two heroines. Then one of the heavenly companions whisper in his ear. He whispers back in two of the heroine’s ears and they both get to maul Rajani at the end and he has a satisfied smile on his face.. This Chinese Whisper session is the climax of the film and I get to see the credits..

I sigh in relief.. but no my pain knew no end… my torture was beginning.

DVD 2 – The tamizh version of our bollywood remake Ghar Jamai. – suffice it to say that it did its work on having my ears and hair stand at my end.. the script defies everything in the name of films..

By the time this movie ended, I am going bonkers.. and just when I think I can breathe, Than tha naaaaaann !!! up comes yet another movie..

And to top it all, everytime some dialouge comes up, the driver repeats the dialogue along with Rajani.. I did not know what to do.. I was I think ready to puke on the drivers head.. or whack him with something.. I had SOOSOOSOSO lost it..

I had to vent it out. I called Rocks up and swore and cursed about the torture and after seeing my wild and mad behavior and hearing the words torture couple of times.. the driver instructs the handyman to switch off the movie.. ( Rocks on the other side was laughing his head off)

BLISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!

But the next hour is full of loud radio music.. which I was ok with and also sang along with some popular Tamil songs.

I am also embarrassed by losing my temper.. and cursing so badly.. which I usually refrain.. but the human mind can only take so much..

By the end of it all, I was zonked out.. and eagerly counting kms on the board till I reached Coimbatore.. 140, 67, 35, 28, … it blurred and I started staring into space and just thinking nothing.. so much was I lost that I did not realize, we had come to my stop… if my friend would not have seen me, or I would not have spied her, I would have moved on to god knows which destination.. and ended up screwing my day royally.

But thanks to all good things that make life easy, my friend called me down and we finally reached her place..

It took me a cup of tea and a good bath to wind down.. and start my weekend…

GAHHH GAAHHH and double GAHHHHHHH !!!!! to crazy movies !!!

I must say that we have to upgrade to headphones connected to the bus TV which allows us to watch or ignore a movie and journey in peace..

Or maybe I should invest in some noise reduction headphones.. the next time I take a bus..

So well, I am fresh and rejuvenated to start another week and looking forward to the usual stuff that happens in a week and another travel.. coming up this time some family time in the forest.. :)

So hopefully you had a lovely weekend.. Have a great week ahead.. It’s a wonderful Tuesday today..

Ode to the man himself.. :

, , , , , , ,

TOP